Post by Kruzer & Jezzabel on Dec 31, 2014 8:59:30 GMT
We fade in from commercial to Baily & Newhaven at ringside.
Matt Baily: Welcome back to RWD Live folks... I'm Matt Baily, and with me, as always is West Newhaven, and West, not only do we have a double Main Event on Combat this week, but we also have what could turn into possibly a triple Main Event by the time the night is done.
West Newhaven: That's right Matt... In yet another clash of East vs. West, Kruzer has challenged Prince Abullah Assad to another showdown. And after being embarrassed by Assad the last time out, but also being humiliated by Double M from ACE, I can't see Kruzer coming out even close to being victorious. He's a washed up, old, former champion that needs to retire already.
Vs. 
ASSAD / KRUZER II
Matt Baily: I disagree with you partner, I think Kruzer's shown allot of heart and spirit in his matches and I believe he's looking for a reckoning against the Prince on Combat this week. Payback's a bitch partner, and as you even said, Kruzer is a former champion.
West Newhaven: Key word being former... but you're right, Kruzer is a bitch!
The lights in the arena suddenly fade and that familiar guitar riff of 'O Canada' begins to play.
Smoke fills the archway, but instead of 'World on Fire', 'Next Homecoming' by Collective Soul begins to play.
West Newhaven: What the hell?! That's not Kruzer's music...
Matt Baily: It sure as hell is, West... This is 'Next Homecoming' by Collective Soul; Kruzer's old theme music from like USW and PSW... This can only mean one thing partner...
Kruzer emerges through the smoke with a determined look on his face, visibly a little beat up under his shades with a band-aid over his right eye, looking around at the Kruzermatics from the top of the ramp.
West Newhaven: What's that?
Matt Baily: Have a look West... Kruzer's back... and he's pissed off!
He raises his trademark bullhorns in the air as pyros go off behind him then makes his way to the ring. He steps up to the second turnbuckle flashiing the bullhorns one more time then steps down and signals for a mic as the music fades. The Kruzermatics stir as Kruzer pauses, looking around not seeming too pleased as he removes his shades, revealing a bit of a shiner. He inhales sharply and begins to speak.
Kruzer: You know something Kruzermatics... The Canadian Icon's had a rough few of weeks here... I'm not going to lie. I mean, sure I beat Noah in one helluva match, but last week... with the help of Muhammed Murder, I put on what was probably the match of the night, hell even match of the year and still came up a bit short.
West Newhaven: Well there's the understatement of the year...
Kruzer: ...But I'm not out here to bitch and moan about it like some pantywaist f*cking third grader either, Savvy?! No, no... Muhammed Murder came into our f*cking barn, and beat Kruzer at his own f*cking game! And that's on me... I get it... But I have to give credit where credit is due Double M... You showed up and took the beating of a lifetime... as did I, as you can see... You showed the essence of what the Psych Ward was all about: Mayhem... Chaos... Anarchy... Fun... and Brutality... and for that alone, Kruzer tips his hat to you brother... and anytime you wanna dance again, the ol'Kruzermatic will be front and centre and more than happy to oblige, Savvy?!
The Kruzermatics cheer.
Kruzer: Which is more than Kruzer can say for the waste of skin I face this week for a second time... Prince Abu-bu Asshat. *Kruzermatics boo* Yah.. the rumors are true Kruzermatics... The Canadian Icon requested this rematch. Why? Well... let's take a look... Roll that sh*t Rudy!
The Titantron crackles to life with footage from From The Ashes.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Kruzer sits up on his knees shaking his head as Bonecrusher yells at him from ring side to put him away. Kruzer picks Assad up for the head as he looks for Kruze Control but Assad manages to slip out of his grasp and instead he shoves him directly into the Baskkin Robbins who tumbles precariously to the mat.
Matt Baily: The referee is out!
West Newhaven: Baskkin Robbins should’ve been more careful, I don’t care if it’s in his book of 31 rules or not!
As Kruzer checks on the referee Assad reaches into his trunks, trying to hide exactly what it is he fished out. He flicks his thumb several times before Kruzer turns his attention back to Assad who by now lit whatever he was trying to catch on fire as he threw a fireball right into his face!
Matt Baily: Did… did Assad just hit him with a fireball?
West Newhaven: HAHA! That’s a classic Matt! With a lighter and a little bit of flash paper you can really catch an opponent off guard!
Kruzer falls to the mat grabbing his face, Assad heading over and lifting him up... Hitting the Cairo Flip as Bonecrusher protests from the apron. Assad quickly sends him back down to the outside before he picks Robbins up by his shirt and drags him to the center of the ring before dropping down for the pin.
1!
Matt Baily: Dammit!
2!
Matt Baily: Not this way dammit!
...
3!
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Camera clips out and back to Kruzer in the ring.
Kruzer: Dammit... Not this way Dammit... Matt Baily's words have been echoing in my mind ever since I viewed the footage afterwards. Now usually when the ol'Kruzermatic hears the word Dammit, and I automatically think of my good buddy Todd 'Dammit' Kerns, the bass player for Slash's Conspirators... *Kruzermatics cheer.* Yah I know eh? Good Canadian kid... good guy and a great musician... I know... But not since that day has Kruzer thought "my friend Dammit"... No... all Kruzer'z been able to think is dammit, that piece of donkey sh*t fireballed me! The Kruzermatics boo more. Yah, you're pickin up what Kruzer'z throwin' down here eh? ...Oh, and yes, just for the record, I didn't call him camel sh*t, because that would be an insult to the camel sh*t population... hahaha...
Kruzermatics: OOOOOOOooooooo
Kruzer: What? Am I wrong? ...That Jive Turkey's so afraid of losing that he's gotta use a f*cking fireball to win, rather than just be a man and take the beating he's receiving and LEARN from it? Really?! ...Ok, kool. Next time Kruzer WON'T be as forgiving, Savvy?! I mean, do you see Kruzer out here like before... with the pomp and flare of mimicking Hulk Hogan and mocking that terrorist son of a b*tch? No, Kruzer just went through a brutal Psych Ward Rulz match baby... that I LOST!!!! ..And I'm still coming after your Egyptian Ass, Savvy?! You don't care about past accolades dipsh*t?! You don't care that Kruzer'z a Fourteen Time World Champion?! ...Kool. Here's an RWD accolade asshole... I'm gunning for Number Fifteen...GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY ROAD B*TCH!! Cuz I don't give two sh*ts and a popcorn fart that you HAD TO fireball me to beat me the last time... or that you're threatening your "badass" brass nucks and your shitty little bic light... Kruzer doesn't even care if your terrorist ass brings f*cking napalm to the ring to the ring this time, Savvy?!
Kruzer reaches into his jacket and pulls out his crowbar to a huge pop from the Kruzermatics. Kruzer smiles looking at it.
Kruzer: Cuz I've got a good friend of mine that DYING To Meet Your B*tch Ass! ...Do you really THINK you're the only one capable of carnage? ...do you Abu-bu? ...Do you really THINK that you're the only one in the RWD that will go to ANY lengths to win? ...Well, think Again Jive Turkey! Cuz in the immortal words of my good friend Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson... IT DOESN"T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!!!
The Kruzermatics say it with Kruzer and cheer.
Kruzer: ...You're facing a founding member of the Psych Ward buddy-boy... I INVENTED "By Any Means Necessary", Savvy?! Don't f*ck with me kid... cuz you'll find yourself on a plane back to Egypt and sharing a cell with boyfriend Hosni faster than you can say Mubarak, ya dig?
The Kruzermatics cheer again.
Kruzer: You want folks to speak their minds Abu-bu... Kruzer'z gotcha covered baby... but we can sit here, swaping spit and talk trash about eachother all night eh... But the fact is that you ARE NOT and will NEVER be ME! ...Savvy?! ...Do Not Pass Go; Do Not Collect Two Hundred Dollars. That's the facts, Jack... And that might be of some comfort to you cuz I am Canadian and you're Egyptian, but what I'm meaning is BEING A Champion! Which is more than you can say for your pitiful existence...
Kruzer points at his face, bruised and battered from the PsychWard Rulz Match.
Kruzer: Take a good look Prince Asshat... I AM a f*cking actor... This is my money maker... and I'm still willing to do THIS to myself for wrestling cuz I F*CKING LOVE IT! Think about that... You say you're "bigger" and "badder" Jive Turkey... But NOBODY's Bigger and Badder than the Canadian Icon, Savvy?! I was the X-Rated Superstar at one time for crissake... The Sinner of Sinners... So, again... don't test me son... I'll own you seven ways from Sunday and still rip the Burka off your sister just cuz she's prettier your sad, sorry ass, Savvy?! Kruzer ain't kiddin' around anymore... Full Throttle; Pedal to the Metal... I want My Belt! You're in my way? ...You're Roadkill. Period! Why? ...Cuz I'm The Ol'Kruzermatic...
The Kruzermatics: ...AND YOU'RE NOT!!!
Kruzer: ...And You're Not! ...That's All.
'Next Homecoming' by Collective Soul begins to play again as Kruzer drops the mic and exits the ring.
Matt Baily: OOH MAN! None quarter asked; none given. Vintage Kruzer. The Canadian Icon goes old school for Combat this week against Prince Assad. This is gonna be amazing West...
West Newhaven: This is old school Kruzer? I kinda like this guy...
Kruzer gets to the top of the ramp and flashes the bullhorns again as the screen fades to the next segment.
so quickly so sad!
