Down The Toilet

Frankie Cocheese seems to have a training montage of his own going now. It starts with Frankie standing in front of a door on the right. Frankie is wearing a white tanktop, jeans and white Vans. Standing to Frankie's left is his friend Rich. Rich has on a blue sweatband and a blue windbreaker with matching pants, and a pair of white sneakers on his feet. Rich is holding a whistle around his neck.

Frankie starts throwing hooks and uppercuts in front of the door, mixing it in with straights and jabs.

"You ready to do this?!"

Frankie nods his head. "Yeah!"

"I SAID. ARE. YOU. READY TO DO THIS?!"

"YEAH!"

"YOU WITH ME?!"

"YEAH!"

"LET'S GO!" Rich blows the whistle.

Frankie kicks down the door and marches inside! The camera follows behind him. It seems to be... a very small, clean, white bathroom. Frankie immediately moves over to the toilet.

There's shots of him lifting it up, standing in front of it with his back to the camera, and starting to let it fly. The whole time, "I'm A Man" by Bo Diddley is playing. That's right, the ORIGINAL "Da na na na na!" is playing! And just after the first "Da na na na na!" goes off, it cuts to Frankie moaning in relief as a stream of yellow is seen and heard collding with the water inside of the toilet bowl. "Ahhhhh!" Not just a spoof of Maxwell's montage, but a nod to an old Family Guy gag as well.

The shot now cuts to Frankie's upper half rocking back and forth on the toilet, in what one would assume to be him trying to release his own "Powers of the Darkness." (Hello Jezzabel!)

Frankie's arms are wrapped over his stomach, with a pained expression on his face. Rich can be heard encouraging him from off camera. "You can do it, man! You can do it!"

Frankie groans. "HNNNNNNNNNH!"

It then cuts to Frankie washing his hands and then hurrying to dry them off on a white towel nearby. He steps out of the bathroom and Rich is shown now, blowing the whistle and holding up a phone in the air, using the phone as a stopwatch.

"4 minutes and 20 seconds!"

Frankie throws his fists up in the air triumphantly. "YEEEEES!" The music fades out with the shot.

Now Frankie is seen standing in front of the toilet, looking into the camera. "Phew! Well, y'know. I saw Jezzebel's video recently and it made me feel like releasing some Demons of my own. Then I saw Maxwell's video and I gotta say. I felt inspired. ... Inspired to make my bladder flatter. Speaking of Maxwell. Let's talk some shit, shall we? Since you already saw some shit a few moments ago." He snickers, trying not to do more than that in front of the camera.

"Maxwell... Just when I thought you were getting the point... Ssssstt... ahhhh... y'missed it! You missed it by a mile because you see, Maxwell. I KNEW what you were doing months ago. That was the POINT! When I first got into this company... I wanted you in that ring. I wanted to BEAT you! I wanted to beat you AND KONSTANTINE, and I did! I beat you BOTH! And ever since then... you just haven't been the same..." He does a mock frown. "Aww..."

That frown transforms into a sarcastic smile. "You just started going down the beaten path, both literally and figuratively, and figured you could get Bonecrusher to talk for you and be your master while you just stood around like an anxious little puppy waiting for your treat. I've changed you. I've changed you and you fail to see it." He starts to pace left and right in front of the toilet. "I know what you've been doing since you got here, but ever since you met me, you've suffered. You've suffered greatly. I have to say, I take great pleasure in seeing you suffer, no homo. Now, I haven't lost sight. I've NEVER lost sight on you, or on this match, but you have. You're so blinded by the lilght of Bonecrusher you don't see the madman you used to be. You think Bonecrusher is going to lead you to the RWD Heavyweight Championship but the only place he's going to lead you is the unemployment line. He's going to lead you to being on the shelf just like he is. Why? Because misery loves company, Maxwell. MISERY LOVES COMPANY!"

He stops to pop his knuckles as he stares at the camera hatefully. "I'm glad you haven't forgotten the last two times I've beaten you. I'm glad you haven't lost focus on this match, because you were making me start to think that you have. I'm glad you want to brutalize me. Come try to take that hatred out on me. That anger. It didn't work the first two times, did it? I'll prove to you the third time isn't the charm."

He folds his arms across his chest and leans his head back a little. "You really think beating your own head in is supposed to intimidate me? Keep doing it. Oh, it's REALLY got me scared. Hah! Maybe you'll hit yourself so hard you'll knock yourself out. But honestly, I hope you don't, because I want to do it for you..."

Frankie moves to his right, holding out his left hand towards the toilet. "You see this toilet? You're going to get really acquainted with this toilet, because I'm going to hit you so hard you're going to be throwing up breakfast, lunch, dinner, and whatever Johnny Bonecrusher had for all three since you have your head shoved so far up his ass anyway. You bring your sink once more, but you're going to end up on this here toilet because I'm going to knock the SHIT out of you!" He exclaims, standing in front of the toilet once more. "You need to make a deal with that sink that you're going to use it to brush them yellow ass teeth of yours. Your teeth lookin like some corn on the cob like shit. You need to not worry about filling it with my blood and filling it with some soap and water so you can wash that greasy ass beard of yours. Need to dunk your head in it but you're probably stupid enough to drown yourself in it. I bet your beard's smellin like Jezzabel's pussy. Speaking of..."

He leans forward, waving like he's done before, treating her like she's some little girl. "Hi there Jezzabel! Finally felt like speaking your mind? Well that's good! Y'know, you did some good for me because what you had to say really made me want to take a dump! Maybe it was what you said, or maybe it was that mannish face of yours. I can't really tell but for those suffering with constapation, all they have to do is watch a Jezzabel promo!"

He laughs heartily, putting his left hand over his stomach. "Now, seriously. Who the hell is the Bearer and what exactly is his yard? Are you talking about this toilet bowl here because it's the bearer of my waste? You say I've never experienced the Powers of the Darkness but let me tell you something..." He points behind him at the toilet, letting his finger hang, then shaking it down towards the toilet a few times. "What I released earlier was VERY powerful and very dark. Or maybe you mean the Bearer's yard is an asshole and the powers of the darkness is the turd that lurks in the darkness of one's anal cavity. If that's what you mean then trust me, I'm very well acquainted with weilding the powers of darkness into the bearer's yard."

He shakes his head, and it's a wonder he can keep a straight face. "Let's talk about shit, though, for a moment, since you seem keen on actually shitting all over your women's division. Now far be it from me to defend them, when not too long ago I thought that Iron Man match was going to be a bore but.... ehhhh... it was aiiiiight. I guess. But to me they'll never be on my level." He leans into the camera, pointing at it. "Neither will you. See, that's why they keep the divisions separate, for the most part. With the exception of our match. You want to step into MY yard. Not the bearer's yard. Not the toilet bowl. MY yard..." He points to himself, jabbing his right forefinger into his chest. "You think I fear you, when I've been smacking hood rats in Southeast DC who look stronger than you. As for Mommy issues, well, I'm never one to shy away. If you actually looked into me and did your homework, you'd know I always talk about how my mother was a whore. See, you just don't understand... I don't fear you... I just don't care because you're not on my level. I've said before, you've put women away, you've ran through some tough ladies but now you're stepping in my hood, and Mother Nature's going to be your road block. You keep calling yourself the Living Dead Girl and just don't seem to understand what that entails. You're going to die. After this Sunday, you may as well just drop the word Living from your name. You're just going to be dead." He nods knowingly, as if he truly believes this. "You're goddamn right you're a nightmare. Your FACE is a nightmare! You want to keep calling me a small man, but I be it's because you can't see most of me over those massive globs of yours. Now I love myself a pair of big tits, I'm not gonna lie. Cinnamon rolls with me at times, afterall, but unlike Cinnamon and her big, fake tits, you've got a face like a horse fucked a clown! And it's going to only get worse when Mother Nature fucks it up so bad that Kruzer won't even be able to love you anymore." He balls his hands into fists, holding them up towards the camera. He's ready to fight now. Them's fighting words. "You ain't taking my soul because I don't have one anymore. The streets took mine a LOOOONG time ago! This sunday, you're gonna Rest in Piss. Rest in Pain. Rot in Punishment. The only thing that'll be left of you is two mounds of silicone. And you and Maxwell's careers....." He moves over to the back of the toilet, poised like he's getting ready to flush it. "Are going down the toilet..." His free hand, the right, forms a gun. "See you when I see you...!'

He flushes it, and the camera focuses now on the water rushing down it, fading out to the sight and sound of it.