Maxwell Segment (SNC#8)

The following segment should occur immediately after some sort of backstage segment, but if that's not doable, do it how you can:

Meanwhile, back inside the ring, The #1 Hit-Maker's already in the ring, Cracker's "I Hate My Generation" already fading out. The ring is strewn with bone-related props, which can only mean one thing...

Johnny Bonecrusher: "Leeeeet me make one... thing... PERFECTLY CLEAR!"

The fans pop!

Johnny Bonecrusher: "It's high time we do this whole RWD thing RIGHT! To that end, I'd like to welcome you all to the first-EVER episode of... The Boneyard in RWD!"

The fans pop harder!

Johnny Bonecrusher: "But before I introduce my first guest, I'd like to take this opportunity to verify something going around Twitter these days: YES, Yours Truly IS planning on getting back into this very ring..."

The fans go wild!

Matthew Baily: "And most of us already know who he wants to tangle with..."

Johnny Bonecrusher: "...Against Cameron Kaiser!"

The fans go savage!

West Newhaven: "I KNEW Bonecrusher was stupid! He had it easy, managing his mental patients to mediocrity, and he's ready to throw it all away!"

Matthew Baily: "How do you mean?"

West Newhaven: "Don't play dumb, Baily! Of ALL the people that has-been could have agreed to wrestle, he, HE chose to have it be a Kaiser! Mark your calendars, because Johnny's as good as dead the day they lock up!"

Matthew Baily: "Well, that's one man's opinion, anyway."

Johnny Bonecrusher: "KAISER! You and your family's been ridin' me hard for TOO LONG now! Seeing as I can't just up and snap Art-Art like a twig, and Peyton's too busy translating Mein Kampf into Klingon or whatever, you will MORE than do! It's like I said on the interwebs, Kaiser: my arm, this arm RIGHT HERE, is at 99%. Ninety-nine perCENT! ONE more percentage... ONE more tick upwards... and ONE Cameron Kaiser's own numbers' UP!"

The fans rage; they've been hoping to see Cameron rightly put in his place for some time now!

Johnny Bonecrusher: "But the REST of that is a story for ANOTHER day. Right now, though, lemme introduce you to a man that, while he NEEDS no formal introduction, is a-"

The Johnny's interrupted by that familiar music! The fans scurry closer... so they can get a closer look at The Portland Madman himself, "Perfectly Sane" Maxwell Schneider! His handler just shakes his head as his client storms his way to the ring, swinging his Brass Knuckles Championship over his head before sliding into the ring. Inside the ring, Schneider raises his "title" above his head, increasing the ovation receives by approximately 55%!

As the crowd dies down, Johnny just shrugs, presenting his man to the fans.

Johnny Bonecrusher:
"Ladies and gentleman, Maxwell Schneider!"

The fans cheer, as Schneider stomps around the ring before hurling his title into the corner turnbuckle.

Johnny Bonecrusher: "What, you're too good to not throw trash into the ring anymore?"

Maxwell Schneider: "Well, Mr. Bonecrusher, I had a little chat with The Trashman backstage not only fiiiive minutes ago, and he LEC-tured me on littering! But I mean, I can go and DISOBEY him, if you want!"

Schneider then feigns heading out of the ring, but The Johnny stops him.

Johnny Bonecrusher: "No no, you're already here, so let's just move on."

West Newhaven: "That's the smartest thing he's said all day!"

Matthew Baily: "Hey, the fans love the chaos of it all!"

Johnny Bonecrusher: "Now Maxwell, the numbers are in, and while FRANKIE COCHEESE-"

The fans boo the wretched villain.

Johnny Bonecrusher: "While he's in the #1 spot in the rankings, wouldn't you know it, but who comes in at #2 - and therefore earned the right to fight that rat bastard at the Road to Conquest?"

Maxwell Schneider: "That's me! That's me! Round Four, Frankie Cocheese, ROUND! FOUR!!"

The fans go ballistic at the reiteration of the announcement Travis Rech made to close Sunday Night Combat VII!

Maxwell Schneider: "I said, I said, I SAID I wasn't done with Frankie, and sure enough, we're gonna go at it ONE! MORE! TIME! Only THIS time, it's for the biggest prize in this game TODAY: The RWD World Title!"

The fans react as you'd expect them to by now.

Maxwell Schneider: "It was meant ta BE, Frankie: we were meant ta meet under these circumstances, you and me, true hate FOREVER! And yeah, I ain't NEVER been able ta put ya down, the three times we tangoed, but I'm fixin' ta make THIS time DIFFERENT! With the stakes higher than they've EVER been, I'm goin' in full-bore, one THOUSAND percent, thirsty for that sweet sweet blood I already got a taste for! All those other times, ALL those other times, they were EYE-openers for me. But ya know, Frankie, I'm EVOLVING as we SPEAK! Round ONE, learned somethin'. Round TWO, learned somethin' ELSE. Round THREE, learned ALL the lessons needed ta pass the class of Suffering 101! Round FOUR, the student becomes the TEACHER, an' I plan on SCHOOLIN' ya, boy, but GOOD!"

Johnny Bonecrusher: "But don't forget, Maxwell, there's gonna be a THIRD man in your match: the winner of the 10-man Battle Royal in two weeks' time!"

The fans don't seem too enthusiastic about the prospect.

Matthew Baily: "I guess the fans were hoping these two titans could have gone one-on-one once more!"

Maxwell Schneider: "I can't wait, Mr. Bonecrusher! Nothin' like a WILD card ta keep things INTERESTING! HowEVER, whichever one of you guys happen ta WIN that match, know THIS: yer goin' into a battlefield with established sides, blood-stained mats, and a whole HELLUVA lotta ill will - you're not just gunnin' for a title belt, you're entering a war zone that you just might not walk OUT of! But if you wanna go for the gold, GO for the gold! It's every man and woman's dream, right? Becomin' a champion? Follow your dreams, pal, because those dreams MIGHT, MIGHT come true... but they might JUST as easily turn into fever dreams-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"

Schneider's music begins to play again, as Johnny gives a look as if he's saying "See?" He presents his man again to the roaring crowd, as they both begin to leave.

West Newhaven: "Can you imagine HIM as our next World Champion?"

Matthew Baily: "I can! And I'm sure the fans would LOVE that!"

West Newhaven: "That would be a dark day in our industry if that happened. I shudder just thinking about it..."