Post by wwjbcd on Nov 27, 2014 3:07:02 GMT
Our last scene was filmed before no live or dead audience, earlier on in the day. Time means nothing. Frontwards, backwards, it move either way. There's a man out there that knows a lot about time. He's spent a lot of this time watc
hing... always watching. There's a man who started on this p a t h of his late in his years. He's proven that the Terry Funk Paradigm works even better when you're several decades younger, albeit still a fogey in this fickle world of professional wrestling. Funk was okay to keep wrestling into his hundreds, meanwhile Flair was forced to retire (THANKS, Shawn!).
We're ALSO talking about things that have been missing in men's lives, soon to be found before the day is through.
Good.
Let's cut to the chase: our, for lack of a better word "hero", and note the quotation marks around the word in question, "Perfectly Sane" Maxwell Schneider is walking up a flight of stairs. And then another, and another. But we'll get to that as TIME goes on.
"Ya know, ol' Maxie's been doin' a lotta thinkin' since earlier today. Ol' Maxie's been... con-FLIC-teeeeeed about somethin', somethin' in his life that he just couldn't put his finger on. And he couldn't put his FINGER on it, 'cuz he didn't know what it WAS, but it was SOMETHIN'... or should I say, a LACK of somethin'. Yeah, ol' Maxie was caught sayin' that something was... MISSIN' from his life, some ever-important part of the equation nowhere ta be seen. This je ne sais quoi, as the Germans put it, I dunno, man, it was really GETTIN' ta me."
The cameraman carefully moves up stairs, trying to keep up with Schneider's pace.
"And then, it hit me: a phone call from a man I know, ehhhhhh, so-so well. But he's a man who got in touch with ME when he didn't have ta EVER have ta have anythin' ta do with me! And here's the kicker: ya know what he said ta me? He said: 'Schneider, ya got somethin' MISSIN' from yer life!' is what he said ta me! HOW'D HE KNOW?! So we got ta talkin' some more, and he made me an offer li'l ol' me just COULDN'T refuse: a guaran-damn-TEE that Devvy and Frankie will be DEAD-Y this Sunday! Sunday fun-day! Sunday fun-day."
Schneider opens a door; we've reached the floor in question. What question? Good question.
Schneider beckons the cameraman to continue to follow him. They pass doors to the left of him, doors to the right... and here we are. Suite 2E. Lucky number 2...E.
Schneider points at the door with excitement.
"This door - behind this door, THIS DOOR! Behind door number 2...E... is my DESTINY! Behind this door, friends, is the PIECE of the PUZZLE that was MISSIN' all this time! This missing number in the equation that is 'Perfectly Sane' Maxwell Schneider plus Devin KONSTANTINE plus Frankie Cocheese equals the bloody mess that I will ONCE AGAIN be responsible for! The heap of twitchin' humanity that I'll stand on top of come Sunday night... can only be described as a PRIME number! And I thank GO- well, I dunno if I'd go THAT far, but I thank... SOMEONE, anyway, for bringin' this man into my life. He's gonna give me the, the FOCUS I sorely need ta slowly torture my enemies in new and exciting ways! He's gonna put me on the right track, tie KONSTANTINE and Frankie DOWN on said tracks, then wave me in so I can grrrrrrIND my wheels across their bodies! So I can get bloody pieces of those clowns stuck in my spokes, and keep ON rollin' through ta Destination: The RWD World Heavyweight TITLE!"
Schneider slowly descends his arm towards the door, allowing it to rests on the door knob. He painfully slowly turns the knob.
"This man..."
He swings the door open, completing the big reveal:
"Is Johnny Bonecrusher, The #1 Hit-Maker."
And sure enough, The Johnny himself is standing there, cockily waggling his head and chuckling like a shit-eating... guy. He clasps his hands, excited about this unholiest of unions. Schneider remains still, arms extended, presenting his findings with a rictus smile.
hing... always watching. There's a man who started on this p a t h of his late in his years. He's proven that the Terry Funk Paradigm works even better when you're several decades younger, albeit still a fogey in this fickle world of professional wrestling. Funk was okay to keep wrestling into his hundreds, meanwhile Flair was forced to retire (THANKS, Shawn!).
But today, we're not talking about men whose bones are as close to dust as they can get. We're talking about men who can still go go go. We're talking about surprises and we're talking about age gaps and we're talking about all sorts of things, if only to leave you guessing.
Good.
Let's cut to the chase: our, for lack of a better word "hero", and note the quotation marks around the word in question, "Perfectly Sane" Maxwell Schneider is walking up a flight of stairs. And then another, and another. But we'll get to that as TIME goes on.
"Ya know, ol' Maxie's been doin' a lotta thinkin' since earlier today. Ol' Maxie's been... con-FLIC-teeeeeed about somethin', somethin' in his life that he just couldn't put his finger on. And he couldn't put his FINGER on it, 'cuz he didn't know what it WAS, but it was SOMETHIN'... or should I say, a LACK of somethin'. Yeah, ol' Maxie was caught sayin' that something was... MISSIN' from his life, some ever-important part of the equation nowhere ta be seen. This je ne sais quoi, as the Germans put it, I dunno, man, it was really GETTIN' ta me."
The cameraman carefully moves up stairs, trying to keep up with Schneider's pace.
"And then, it hit me: a phone call from a man I know, ehhhhhh, so-so well. But he's a man who got in touch with ME when he didn't have ta EVER have ta have anythin' ta do with me! And here's the kicker: ya know what he said ta me? He said: 'Schneider, ya got somethin' MISSIN' from yer life!' is what he said ta me! HOW'D HE KNOW?! So we got ta talkin' some more, and he made me an offer li'l ol' me just COULDN'T refuse: a guaran-damn-TEE that Devvy and Frankie will be DEAD-Y this Sunday! Sunday fun-day! Sunday fun-day."
Schneider opens a door; we've reached the floor in question. What question? Good question.
Schneider beckons the cameraman to continue to follow him. They pass doors to the left of him, doors to the right... and here we are. Suite 2E. Lucky number 2...E.
Schneider points at the door with excitement.
"This door - behind this door, THIS DOOR! Behind door number 2...E... is my DESTINY! Behind this door, friends, is the PIECE of the PUZZLE that was MISSIN' all this time! This missing number in the equation that is 'Perfectly Sane' Maxwell Schneider plus Devin KONSTANTINE plus Frankie Cocheese equals the bloody mess that I will ONCE AGAIN be responsible for! The heap of twitchin' humanity that I'll stand on top of come Sunday night... can only be described as a PRIME number! And I thank GO- well, I dunno if I'd go THAT far, but I thank... SOMEONE, anyway, for bringin' this man into my life. He's gonna give me the, the FOCUS I sorely need ta slowly torture my enemies in new and exciting ways! He's gonna put me on the right track, tie KONSTANTINE and Frankie DOWN on said tracks, then wave me in so I can grrrrrrIND my wheels across their bodies! So I can get bloody pieces of those clowns stuck in my spokes, and keep ON rollin' through ta Destination: The RWD World Heavyweight TITLE!"
Schneider slowly descends his arm towards the door, allowing it to rests on the door knob. He painfully slowly turns the knob.
"This man..."
He swings the door open, completing the big reveal:
"Is Johnny Bonecrusher, The #1 Hit-Maker."
And sure enough, The Johnny himself is standing there, cockily waggling his head and chuckling like a shit-eating... guy. He clasps his hands, excited about this unholiest of unions. Schneider remains still, arms extended, presenting his findings with a rictus smile.
THE END.
so quickly so sad!
